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How to Negotiate With Narcissists

While we might believe that qualifications are the gateway to success, it can also be due to the belief one holds in themselves.

Unfortunately, some individuals show narcissistic traits, such as shameless self-promotion and a lack of empathy for others around them. In everyday life, you might prefer to avoid others who exhibit these traits, but there is a catch.

Shameless self-promotion can lead to promotion into positions of power within business. So, if you're a small business owner, you might find that there comes a time when you need to negotiate with a narcissist whos arrogant, demanding, and resistant to criticism.

If this happens to you, there are certain steps you can use to help bargain and make successful deals.

How to spot a narcissist

This is the simple part. When you're talking to them, their worldview quickly becomes apparent. Everything revolves around them; they are the only ones who make great things happen. They possess supreme self-confidence and view themselves as exceptionally intelligent, attractive, and capable. They believe that they need special, preferential treatment.

For example, if youre negotiating the price of an item youre attempting to sell to them, they may use lines such as "You know me, I can keep passing work your way. How about we use mates' rates?". This may seem like a small request for someone you've worked well with in the past, but what if this is the first time you're doing business with them? If you push back against their offer, they could perceive it as a slight against them.

Commonly, they will push back against any perceived slight, no matter how small and insignificant. They will also attack anything that challenges their lofty self-perceptions. Frequently, they will see themselves as the victim, which justifies their vindictiveness and ruthlessness. They can manipulate emotions such as guilt, fear and anxiety while appearing to be charming and charismatic.

So, how do you bargain with a narcissist?

There are several techniques you can use to make your life easier when you come up against a narcissist.

Accept who you are dealing with

Given what you now know about narcissists, it's not surprising that they're hard to negotiate with in business. They can be impossible to bargain with in good faith, as they'll always attempt to get the better side of the deal. Focusing on rational and logical concerns can often fail to move the process forward.

Understanding that they'll always counter any over you provide them and attempt to get the better of you can put the power back in your hands. It could be as simple as phrasing your offer differently compared to how you typically would.

For example, rather than simply stating the price of your product as £150, try phrasing it as "I don't do this for any of my other clients, but because we work so well together, I can do £149.99.". While this is a penny cheaper than your standard price, it makes the other party feel as though they're getting an exclusive offer just for them. Therefore, you're stroking their ego and giving them the better deal.

While this sounds unethical and morally questionable, it can save you headaches and long, drawn-out negotiations.

Don't forget to flatter them

In all negotiations, you need to stay focused on your goal while figuring out what people really need and why they want it. When bargaining with narcissists, what they really want is your flattery. This proves to them that they really are great and worthwhile. Deep down inside the narcissist, they are usually very insecure and frightened. This means you need to make them feel important and powerful.

The more you convey to them that you understand how great they are, the more willing you will find them to work with you. You should still address the terms of the deal, and the specifics are still just as critical, but if you don't pay attention to the narcissist, they probably won't pay attention to the terms, nor will they make any concessions.

This approach can be hard for some people to get to grips with. Sometimes, the people leading the negotiations are also wealthy and successful and have their own strategies for negotiating. These people now have to adapt their strategies and override their egos to deal with the narcissists if they want to move forward.

Remember your ultimate goal

Remember that it's possible to negotiate with almost anyone. It's just that when negotiating with narcissists, you need to recognise that they need to be seen as the most important and successful person there. You will need to reinforce this point repeatedly if you want to have them onside with you.

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